Fredrick Buechner from his book Telling Secrets:

Events happen under their own steam as random as rain, which means that God is present in them not as their cause but as the one who even in the hardest and most hair-raising of them offers us the possibility of that new life and healing which I believe is what salvation is. 

For instance, I cannot believe that a God of love and mercy in any sense willed my father’s suicide; it was my father himself who willed it as the only way available to him from a life that for various reasons he had come to find unbearable.  God did not will what happened the early November morning in Essex Falls, New Jersey, but I believe God was present in what happened.  I cannot guess how he was present with my father—I can guess much better how utterly abandoned by God my father must have felt if he thought about God at all—but my faith as well as my prayer is that he was and continues to be present with him in ways beyond my guessing. 

I can speak with some assurance only of how God was present in that dark time for me in the sense that I was not destroyed by it but came out of it with scars that I bear to this day, to be sure, but also somehow the wiser and stronger for it.  Who knows how I might have turned out if my father had lived, but through the loss of him all those years ago I think that I learned something about how even tragedy can be a means of grace that I might never have come to any other way. 

As I see it, in other words, God acts in history and in your and my brief histories not as the puppeteer who sets the scene and works the strings but rather as the great director who no matter what role fate casts us in conveys to us somehow from the wings, if we have our eyes, ears, hearts open and sometimes even if we don’t, how we can play those roles in a way to enrich and ennoble and hallow the whole vast drama of things including our own small but crucial parts in it.

Water, Wind, Earth, and Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying with the Elements invites the pray-er to incorporate each of these elements into his or her spiritual life.  These four elements aid the mystic in the journey to deeper experiences of God.   They each reflect a dimension of God, and yet are the simple stuff of our earthly existence.

In addition to Paintner’s insights and experiences, Ralph Waldo Emerson, St. Francis of Assisi, Chet Raymond, Hildegard of Bingen, and other mystics, poets and writers share their wisdom.  Each brings their own voice to the wonders of God expressed through creation. 

Water, wind, earth and fire present themselves to us in many different forms.  Whether solid, liquid, gas or some combination influenced by temperature or light, each offer a poignant theological lesson.  Each invites us to surrender to God’s magnificent power and to know at the core of our being that we are uniquely created and loved by Him.

There are really two selves to consider here, one the “self”: that woman, wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter who is always putting others first, and; the “Self”: that marvelous, unique person who has been created by God and whom God constantly invites into deeper relationship, and fuller expression, in life.

Take for example the sisters in scripture who embody these two selves:  Martha and Mary.

In Luke’s Gospel, we read: “But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.’” 

Let’s rewind a bit and take a look at the scene that took place before Jesus’ remark to Martha. When we first met Martha, she was running around her house hosting Jesus and his disciples. Martha was trying to be a good hostess; after all, she had a celebrity in her midst! In her whirlwind of activity, she noticed her sister, Mary, had seated herself at the foot of Jesus and was enjoying his teaching. Noting Jesus’ hold on Mary’s attention, Martha asked him to intercede with Mary and ask her to contribute to the work of entertaining their guests. Instead, Jesus turns his rebuke to Martha, and seems to judge her efforts as unimportant.

How hurtful and confusing! Martha was doing what she’d been raised to do—prepare a lovely table for her guests—and doing it well, no doubt. Yet the teacher whom she admired seemed unsympathetic to her plight. Imagine the sting of embarrassment in her heart, the flush of red on her cheeks, and the tears that filled her eyes as she turned away from Jesus.

We cannot hear the tone of voice with which Jesus speaks to Martha. If she was harried and unable to enjoy herself at the party, perhaps his words were spoken with compassion. Perhaps he was inviting her to relax a bit and enjoy the fellowship of the gathering, and not let the tasks of entertaining consume her. This is good advice for everyday of life, not just when hosting a party. Martha, so occupied with serving others, needs to tend her “self” so that she won’t get burned out.

Perhaps Mary’s is the better choice, or at least should be the first choice in our busy lives–to take time in prayer and quiet ourselves in the presence of God.  Mary
 is tending to her “Self”:  that part of her where God resides.

Our busy days challenge us to attend to the Self as well as the self.  When both are cared for, marvelous transformations take place.

Consider the next time we meet Martha in the Scriptures, in John’s Gospel:
“Martha said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.’”

Just a few few short years after her dinner party, we meet a woman transformed by faith. Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and their brother Lazarus very much. When Lazarus died, Jesus came to visit the sisters, and Martha was the one who met him on the road and proclaimed her faith in him. The one busy and distracted by many things becomes the one to declare her faith so simply and plainly that Jesus performs one of the most powerful and dramatic miracles of his ministry. Her faith healed her brother, and her family. If Martha can be so changed, there is hope for all the Martha’s in the world!

And so it is essential, to be the fullest expression of God’s love to those around us, to put our Self first, and our self. 

Why It’s Okay (Actually, Essential) to Put Yourself First

Jesus reassures us today that our prayer with God is a quiet, personal relationship which will not be enhanced by the amount of words we use.  Rather, we’re invited to sit quietly with God and trust our hearts to Him.  How often do with think we need to have our inner house in order before we can pray?  It’s as if we try to put on a good face for God.  But God, who sees all and knows our hearts, already knows our concerns, shortcomings, and successes. 

Today, let us rest in God’s presence, confident that His love, compassion and mercy precede any request we might make of him.  God already knows; now trust Him to see you through.

Mother Teresa reminds us:  “We can do no great things-only small things with great love.”
As mothers busy about the business of life, we sometimes wonder if what we do is “enough.” 

Yesterday at church my almost-10-year-old daugther took my hand and studies our palms.  She adjusted her hand next to mine, trying to line up the creases.  I’ve heard these creases called “life lines,” and it touched my heart to see her extending one line from my palm to hers, as if her young life would one day pick up where mine leaves off.

These are the moments that remind me of the importance of the “little things” I do to take care of my family.  These tasks, when done with great love, are the foundation for my children’s lives.  God gave life to them through my husband and me, but it is ultimately His life in them which I am called to nurture.  I give so much of my life so that they will have theirs, and it is holy work…tending the flock of God in my midst.

Today’s first reading from Isaiah was also quoted in Bono’s 2006 National Prayer Breakfast address, in Washington D.C. Here are a few of his comments:

“Look, whatever thoughts you have about God, who He is or if He exists, most will agree that if there is a God, He has a special place for the poor. In fact, the poor are where God lives.

Check Judaism. Check Islam. Check pretty much anyone.

God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house… God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives… God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war… God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them.

It’s not a coincidence that in the Scriptures, poverty is mentioned more than 2,100 times. It’s not an accident. That’s a lot of air time, 2,100 mentions. [You know, the only time Christ is judgmental is on the subject of the poor.] ‘As you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.’ (Matthew 25:40). As I say, good news to the poor.

That is a powerful incentive: ‘The Lord will watch your back.’ Sounds like a good deal to me, right now.

A number of years ago, I met a wise man who changed my life. In countless ways, large and small, I was always seeking the Lord’s blessing. I was saying, you know, I have a new song, look after it… I have a family, please look after them… I have this crazy idea…

And this wise man said: stop.

He said, stop asking God to bless what you’re doing.

Get involved in what God is doing—because it’s already blessed.”

To read the full text of his remarks, visit USA Today.

This Thursday of the week of Ash Wednesday brings us Moses’ passionate plea to the Isrealites to choose the fullness of life in God rather than the death of sin and darkness.  Everyday, we’re given this same choice, in big and small ways. 

Just yesterday I made a trip to the DMV to renew my driver’s license.  I lacked the proper ID, but the kind agent said she’d see what she could do.  After explaining my options to me, I decided to return later with my passport.  She smiled kindly and said, “We’ll see you in a little bit.  Drive safely!” 

When I returned, the line was just as long, and unfortunately my sweet agent was at lunch.  I sat for a while, and when my number was called I belatedly pulled out of a daydream to step up to the counter. The current agent reprimanded me, saying, “I called your number!” I felt reprimanded and my cheeks got red, but I bit my tongue from a sarcastic reply.  Her behavior, more in keeping with what I’ve come to expect from the DMV, briefly cast a shadow over my day.  I left the office a little while later, glad to be freed of that gloomy environment.

What a contrast in behavior!  Two agents in the same office, yet both choosing a different response and way of treating their customers.  “Choose life” that you might live in a place of warmth and good wishes, not embarrassment and frustration.

This passage brings to mind another Joel, Billy Joel, and his beautiful love song, This is the Time.  In it, the singer expresses his delight in his beloved, and yet he longs for more.  He understands that time will change their circumstances, and so he wants to enjoy every moment.  Yet more profoundly, he wants to know his beloved intimately and completely.  “You’ve given me the best of you; now, I need the rest of you.”

This plea echoes back to the prophet Joel, calling God’s beloved to deeper relationship with him.  He reminds them that it’s not public displays of faith, but rather the intimate connection with God that the Creator desires.  We may have given God our best through ritual, prayer and works of service, but it is the deepest part of ourselves that he longs to inhabit and companion to fullness of life.

Lent is the time to open our hearts to this love.  Let’s clear away the clutter of distractions and creature comforts and create a space in our lives to get reacquainted with God.  Prayer, fasting and abstinence are the three traditional Lenten observances we are invited to pursue.  Over the coming weeks, we’ll explore each of these observances in greater detail, and offer resources to support your own Lenten observance. 

Moms, welcome this season as a time to nurture the most important relationship in your life.  Take a few moments everyday and spend them in God’s loving presence.  “Return to me with your whole heart,” says the Lord, and see what his love can do in your life.

A wonderful resource for daily prayer:  http://sacredspace.ie/  Created and hosted by the Irish Jesuits, this prayer site invites us to “make a ‘Sacred Space’ in your day, and spend ten minutes, praying here and now, as you sit at your computer, with the help of on-screen guidance and scripture chosen specially every day.”

What I most disliked about the garage sale experience, though, is the person I became during the experience.  Mired in the clutter, dust and sweat, my thoughts were often ones of resentment for how hard I was working, or of exhaustion at the weight of the accumulated stuff.  This mindset and fatigue translated into one mean and crabby mom.  Both my daughters experienced it.  If they asked me for anything during those days, my response was a heavy sigh, and anger when the request took me away from my project.  Many times I was so preoccupied my youngest gave up talking to me.  At the end of each day, both my body and my heart ached.  I not only separated myself from things that I was emotionally attached to, but more importantly I’d alienated myself from the ones I love who also share this space with me.

My teenage daughter called me on it this week, saying that if I really didn’t want to do something for her, I should just not do it, rather than doing it in anger and being mean while doing it.  She’s right.  I was angry and mean.  I apologized, and asked her to stop me if I ever even thing about another garage sale.  We laughed.  For all the growing up I witness in her, she gets to see her mom do some, too.

We made it. During the days and hours that lead up to the meet she had the occasional admission of anxiety or fear, pleading for a reprieve from the looming unknowns of the event. My strength to help her face these fears came in part from the wisdom of a friend, given to me after the death of my mother-in-law. My daughters saw her dead body, attended the prayer service, wake, funeral and burial. My husband and I wanted it this way; still there was a part of me that longed to shield them from this sorrow. I shared this with my friend, who said, “It is important that our children learn they can handle such things.” Amen. So, facing a much less fearsome adversary, we jumped in (pun intended). I saw my girl grow right before my eyes, learning a life lesson that would have been lost by mom’s letting her off the hook or holding her hand.

Last night as I tucked her in, I reminded my daughter that “courage is not about not being afraid; it’s about being afraid and doing it anyway.” She was courageous, she knows she can handle it, and she inspired her mom to be brave when life presents her own “first swim meets,” too.