I am a late-blooming step-mom. After rising from the ashes of a career burnout, I found myself falling into the same old traps when children came into my life. Use these guidelines to strengthen your ability to thrive - as a mother, as a woman.

To have the life I want, I will:
MODEL the behavior I want to see
Gandhi said it best when he said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” So if you want respect, respect. If you want understanding, understand. If you want happiness, be happy. And if you want your children to grow up to love and nurture themselves…

ORIENT my life around my values
Stress happens when you stray from your core values. The further you stray, the more stressful it is for you. Identify those values that are key to your happiness, learn to notice quickly when you are misaligned, and use a variety of tools and techniques to bring yourself back to center.

TAKE CARE of myself
When your needs are being met, it takes the pressure off of others to meet them, and life gets easier. Whether you need to be accepted, acknowledged, cared for, needed, safe, free, etc., honor that need and start getting it met so it stops driving all your actions and your very best self can emerge.

HELP OTHERS help me
You don’t have to be a martyr, suffering and sacrificing yourself, to be an extraordinary wife and mother. In fact, giving yourself away until you are exhausted and depleted is not a badge of honor. It leads to unhappiness and poor health, and sends the wrong message to your children. We train people how to treat us, and this includes our family. Does yours need retraining? Start now and help them help you be the Mom you want to be.

ENERGIZE daily
Here are 10 ways you can energize yourself every day: You can build your self-care skills, your De-Stress NOW skills, clarify your vision, and build communication and decision-making skills. And, you can let go of tolerations, attachments, resistance, taking things personally, and the need to be right. Choose one and focus on it for a week at a time, or choose a different one every day to explore. Either way is perfect – each is a major energizer and whatever attention you bring to it will make a positive difference.

REST when I am tired
Animals and kids rest when they are tired, naturally. Why don’t you? Even a few minutes can make a world of difference in the quality of your life, so make carving out time to rest, relax and rejuvenate a priority. And help others help you do it!

SAY IT so it can be heard
When you speak directly, with kindness, respect and a willingness to listen and understand, your message can get through. Thinking it isn’t saying it. Yelling it can’t be truly heard. Neither can blaming, shaming or justifying. Make your requests out loud – the people you love really do want to please you, but they aren’t mind-readers. And be sure to sing praises out loud and often, too. Both will deepen your connection – to yourself and to them.

Patty Cook is an Executive Life Coach and founder of Life by Design, which she founded in 2000. Now celebrating over 11 years of victory over breast cancer, Patty has experienced first-hand how quickly and radically life can change its course, and is committed to supporting people in living like there’s no tomorrow, today. She walked away after 18 years from a highly successful construction career she absolutely loved because she didn’t know how to deal with the stress of it. Since 1992, she has dedicated her life to helping people do what they love to do, and are good at, without paying such a high price for their success.

E-mail: patty@lifebydesign.biz
Website: www.lifebydesign.biz

Jesus reassures us today that our prayer with God is a quiet, personal relationship which will not be enhanced by the amount of words we use.  Rather, we’re invited to sit quietly with God and trust our hearts to Him.  How often do with think we need to have our inner house in order before we can pray?  It’s as if we try to put on a good face for God.  But God, who sees all and knows our hearts, already knows our concerns, shortcomings, and successes. 

Today, let us rest in God’s presence, confident that His love, compassion and mercy precede any request we might make of him.  God already knows; now trust Him to see you through.

Mother Teresa reminds us:  “We can do no great things-only small things with great love.”
As mothers busy about the business of life, we sometimes wonder if what we do is “enough.” 

Yesterday at church my almost-10-year-old daugther took my hand and studies our palms.  She adjusted her hand next to mine, trying to line up the creases.  I’ve heard these creases called “life lines,” and it touched my heart to see her extending one line from my palm to hers, as if her young life would one day pick up where mine leaves off.

These are the moments that remind me of the importance of the “little things” I do to take care of my family.  These tasks, when done with great love, are the foundation for my children’s lives.  God gave life to them through my husband and me, but it is ultimately His life in them which I am called to nurture.  I give so much of my life so that they will have theirs, and it is holy work…tending the flock of God in my midst.

“I said ‘I’m so proud of you. Never think you stand alone. Mom will always be there for you and I love you,’” Kultida Woods said.”

Read the full story on Tiger Woods’ apology here.

Today’s first reading from Isaiah was also quoted in Bono’s 2006 National Prayer Breakfast address, in Washington D.C. Here are a few of his comments:

“Look, whatever thoughts you have about God, who He is or if He exists, most will agree that if there is a God, He has a special place for the poor. In fact, the poor are where God lives.

Check Judaism. Check Islam. Check pretty much anyone.

God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house… God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives… God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war… God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them.

It’s not a coincidence that in the Scriptures, poverty is mentioned more than 2,100 times. It’s not an accident. That’s a lot of air time, 2,100 mentions. [You know, the only time Christ is judgmental is on the subject of the poor.] ‘As you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.’ (Matthew 25:40). As I say, good news to the poor.

That is a powerful incentive: ‘The Lord will watch your back.’ Sounds like a good deal to me, right now.

A number of years ago, I met a wise man who changed my life. In countless ways, large and small, I was always seeking the Lord’s blessing. I was saying, you know, I have a new song, look after it… I have a family, please look after them… I have this crazy idea…

And this wise man said: stop.

He said, stop asking God to bless what you’re doing.

Get involved in what God is doing—because it’s already blessed.”

To read the full text of his remarks, visit USA Today.

This Thursday of the week of Ash Wednesday brings us Moses’ passionate plea to the Isrealites to choose the fullness of life in God rather than the death of sin and darkness.  Everyday, we’re given this same choice, in big and small ways. 

Just yesterday I made a trip to the DMV to renew my driver’s license.  I lacked the proper ID, but the kind agent said she’d see what she could do.  After explaining my options to me, I decided to return later with my passport.  She smiled kindly and said, “We’ll see you in a little bit.  Drive safely!” 

When I returned, the line was just as long, and unfortunately my sweet agent was at lunch.  I sat for a while, and when my number was called I belatedly pulled out of a daydream to step up to the counter. The current agent reprimanded me, saying, “I called your number!” I felt reprimanded and my cheeks got red, but I bit my tongue from a sarcastic reply.  Her behavior, more in keeping with what I’ve come to expect from the DMV, briefly cast a shadow over my day.  I left the office a little while later, glad to be freed of that gloomy environment.

What a contrast in behavior!  Two agents in the same office, yet both choosing a different response and way of treating their customers.  “Choose life” that you might live in a place of warmth and good wishes, not embarrassment and frustration.

This passage brings to mind another Joel, Billy Joel, and his beautiful love song, This is the Time.  In it, the singer expresses his delight in his beloved, and yet he longs for more.  He understands that time will change their circumstances, and so he wants to enjoy every moment.  Yet more profoundly, he wants to know his beloved intimately and completely.  “You’ve given me the best of you; now, I need the rest of you.”

This plea echoes back to the prophet Joel, calling God’s beloved to deeper relationship with him.  He reminds them that it’s not public displays of faith, but rather the intimate connection with God that the Creator desires.  We may have given God our best through ritual, prayer and works of service, but it is the deepest part of ourselves that he longs to inhabit and companion to fullness of life.

Lent is the time to open our hearts to this love.  Let’s clear away the clutter of distractions and creature comforts and create a space in our lives to get reacquainted with God.  Prayer, fasting and abstinence are the three traditional Lenten observances we are invited to pursue.  Over the coming weeks, we’ll explore each of these observances in greater detail, and offer resources to support your own Lenten observance. 

Moms, welcome this season as a time to nurture the most important relationship in your life.  Take a few moments everyday and spend them in God’s loving presence.  “Return to me with your whole heart,” says the Lord, and see what his love can do in your life.

A wonderful resource for daily prayer:  http://sacredspace.ie/  Created and hosted by the Irish Jesuits, this prayer site invites us to “make a ‘Sacred Space’ in your day, and spend ten minutes, praying here and now, as you sit at your computer, with the help of on-screen guidance and scripture chosen specially every day.”